Finding friends in later life with u3a

This International Day of Friendship, we spoke to u3a members about how u3a has helped them find new friends and communities. Here, they share their experiences.

Food with friends

Gret, Newquay u3a. Gret leads the Food with Friends group with her husband John.

The original name for our group was ‘Food Appreciation’ and they, mostly ladies, visited various establishments to appreciate lunches, coffee mornings, dinners and any other food opportunity, in and around Newquay. It was a buzzing happy group of around twenty members.

However, about four years ago, it was apparent that although the food was still appreciated, the emphasis had changed so it was renamed, ‘Food with Friends’. The opportunity to eat out with like-minded, friendly people, to restaurants and places where they would not probably go to alone, even as a couple, was now pleasantly possible. A few men had also joined, one or two husbands and a couple of men on their own, which seemed to be a blessing for them. The group was aptly renamed. It was and is, an opportunity to enjoy food with friends.

When John and I took over, we felt the warmth and appreciation of the members and that has grown and increased as the u3a membership has grown. Instead of booking twenty plus it is now thirty plus and even nearer forty although some places limit us to thirty. Not everyone is ‘friends’ with everyone, obviously, but it is obvious from the ambiance of the group that they are not just ordering and eating a meal - there is a sense of friendships. I believe we have a unique role in u3a, and I thoroughly recommend such a group.

Finding community

Darren, Buxton & District u3a

My husband and I retired a couple of years ago. While living in Bedfordshire, we joined the Dunstable u3a and found it a great way to make new friends. When we later decided to relocate to Buxton in Derbyshire, we knew how valuable being part of a local u3a could be.

We joined Buxton and District u3a at the start of 2024, and it has been a fantastic experience. We've built a new circle of friends and thoroughly enjoy socialising with them. The groups we’ve joined keep our minds active and our bodies moving, and we’ve even taken on the role of joint group leaders in a few of them.

Being part of the u3a has brought us immense pleasure and helped us feel part of the community in no time.

The magic of mutual learning

Pam, Shrewsbury u3a

We moved to Shrewsbury almost 11 years ago and apart from our daughter knew no-one. We joined u3a and I now teach one group and was coordinator for two groups previously and I also am a Category Leader so have met lots of friends.

I am joint coordinator for Table Tennis Group One and I teach the beginners Line Dancing group which has about 20 members. I have been Line Dancing for years and, because this group wanted someone who knew some beginner's dances, I volunteered to teach. Since then, a couple of the group's members have learnt two or three new dances themselves and teach them to the group, which is a great help to me.

We wouldn't be without our u3a!

Helping others make friends

Pauline, Group Leader of Members on Their Own (MOTO) Group, Lancaster & Morecambe u3a

MOTO started in late February 2022, and has steadily grown since then. We are a relaxed, member-driven group of individuals on their own - some are bereaved, some divorced, some are single by choice, and some have partners who cannot or do not want to socialise. All are people who want company occasionally.

Most Sunday afternoons we have a drop-in session, alternately in Lancaster and Morecambe areas,  sometimes in a nearby village. We email everyone where the drop-in will be each week. Members without email are helped by volunteer 'buddies' who pass on the information by phone.

We have other gatherings as members suggest, and sometimes organise, ways in which they would like to meet and enjoy company. So far members have linked up for cinema, theatre and concert visits, dog-walking, garden centre visit, Police Museum visit, and a garden party. We welcome all suggestions - if a member wants to arrange something we will circulate the information for them.

Here are some quotes from a few of our members:

"Do pass on how much I enjoy MOTO. Having moved here 2 years ago I’ve really appreciated an activity on a Sunday which would otherwise be a very quiet [and lonely] day."

"It took a lot of courage to come to a meeting, but everyone was so friendly, it’s the best thing I’ve done."

"Joining MOTO and making new friends made it easier to join other groups. I knew there would be people there that I’d already met."

"It’s amazing the different things we talk about. It’s a really good natter!"

Keeping active

Dee, Melksham u3a

Since I've been running the group, the friendships evolved quite quickly. We now have a WhatsApp/coffee group, which is a lovely way to extend friendships and socialise more. There’s lots of laughter in this heartwarming group, which is particularly beneficial for those who live alone.

If you're looking for community and friendship in your area, why not join your local u3a and see what opportunities await? Find your nearest u3a here.